Welcome to a condensed recap of this week’s Monday Night Raw. I’m on my way to New Jersey, and then on to Poland, but I wanted to make sure that everyone knew what kind of craziness went on, this week.
The show opened with John Cena going off on C.M. Punk at the end of last week’s show. After Cena left the ring, Punk attacked Jerry Lawler.
Jerry Lawler left the announce booth and headed into the ring. Lawler tweeted, last week, that if Punk was really the “Best in the World”, he wouldn’t kick someone in the back of the head. Lawler demanded an apology from Punk for Punk’s actions. Punk joined Lawler in the ring. He couldn’t believe that Lawler wanted an apology. Punk talked about his recent actions and how he was being painted as a bad guy. He accused Lawler of turning him into a bad guy. Punk talked serious trash about Lawler’s career. He taunted Lawler for never holding a WWE championship or even being able to beat Michael Cole. He even said bad things about what Lawler has become. Punk asked Lawler if he wanted to fight. Punk said he would embarrass Lawler, if they were to fight. Lawler said he wanted an apology, not a fight. Punk said he was going to embarass Lawler, either by sending The King out as a loser or as someone who would never take the fight. As Punk started to leave, Lawler said he would think about it.
Jack Swagger vs Ryback
Things went from bad to worse for Swagger, in this one. Swagger put up some half-decent offense in this one. Ryback kicked out of the AnkleLock and the just annihilated Swagger. Ryback with the Running Samoan Drop.
Your Winner: Ryback
Grade: B- (80%)
Natalya Va Layla
Non Title Match
Vickie Guerrero interrupted and said she had an important announcement to make so hurry the match up. Vickie was quite bored. This was actually a decent Diva’s match. The two women showed that some women actually can look good and actually wrestle. They ended up fighting on the floor. Layla kicked out of the Sharpshooter. Layla with the Layla Ya Out Crescent Kick.
Your Winner: Layla
Grade: B- (83%)
Vickie dismissed Layla but the Divas champ wasn’t quick to exit. She shrieked about the match between Chris Jericho and Dolph ZIggler, last week. Vickie accused A.J. Lee of abusing her power, by forcing Ziggler to put up his Money in the Bank Briefcase. She begging the WWE Board of Directors in the hands of her, an adult, instead of “a mentally deranged child”. A.J. Lee skipped down to the ring. Vickie, you just messed up. Lee then attacked Vickie! Vickie scrambled out of the ring as A.J. got all “Carrie”-faced. Light Switch Lee (Turn on the craziness, turn off the craziness).
Michael Cole sent it to the first of several Triple H highlights. THe first was a look at his D-X days.
Raw looked at Daniel Bryan’s Anger Management classes. Typical WWE vignette. They had some kid come in wearing a Goat Head mask.
Jerry Lawler.accepted C.M. Punk’s challenge.
John Cena vs The Miz
Cena took an early control of the match. Josh Mathews had taken Lawler’s spot on the announce table. Miz took back control with Side Headlock. Falling Neckbreaker. Miz almost pinned Cena, several times. Cena with the STF but Miz reached the ropes. Miz with the Power Plant DDT. Side Effect by Miz for two. Cena went Vintage. Attitude Adjustment.1-2-3!
Your Winner: John Cena
Grade: A- (90%)
The fans get to decided what type match Lawler nad Cena would have. Tables, Steel Cage or No DQ.
Cole and Josh took another look at the career of Triple H.
It was time to another trip to Anger Management class. Yawn. Kane joined the class. Things are starting to look up.
Heath Slater vs Santino Marella
Santino rode Heath’s back. They started dancing. Heath attacked Santino. Heath drove his knee into Santino’s back and punched away. Heath choked Santino on the rope. The fans started chanting “Boring!” Santino kept rolling out of Heath’s way. Small Package b Santin got a two. Santino unloaded on Slater. Santino was going to use The Cora, but Aksana came out and the Cobra was distracted. The Cobra struck, by accident!
Your Winner: Santino Marella
Grade: C (73%)
Is she about to debut a Lady Cobra? Cobrette?
Cole and Josh talked about the new WWE app.
Brodus Clay came out with the adorable Funkadactyls. They danced, to the joy of the fans.
Brodus Clay and Sin Cara vs Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Cody talked trash about both of his opponents. He threatened to remove Sin Cara’s mask. Cody had Sin Cara down as the match returned from break. He rocked Sin Cara with a RUnning Knee. Side Russian Leg Sweep by Sandow. Cody stomped away on Sin Cara upon tagging back in. Sin Cara with a Flying Hurancanrana. Clay got the tag and Clotheslined Cody. Corner Splash into a Running Powerslam. Sandow made the save. Sin Cara with the Low Bridge on Sandow and a Flying Cross body to the floor. Brodus with the Headbutt and Jurassic Splash to take the win.
Your Winners: Brodus Clay and Sin Cara
Grade: B (84%)
It was time for Part Three of Anger Management class. Kane told everyone that he was The Devil’s Favorite Demon. Kane was asked what made him angry. Kane talked very coldly about his life. He even brought up torturing Pete Rose. A guy made the mistake of touching Kane. Kane looked ready to Tombstone him, but he let him go.
Another Triple H feature ran. It was a “Greatest Hits” piece.
R-Truth vs Daniel Bryan
The early part of the match went back and forth. They did the whole Little Jimmy stuff. Boring. AL Snow did it better with Head. Truth with hard punches. Lie Detector by Truth. Truth launched Daniel over the ropes. Truth started to talk to Little Jimmy. He then started a “Yes!” chant. Daniel Bryan started screaming at the crowd and ended up getting counted out.
Your Winner: R-Truth
Grade: D (64%)
Triple H was introduced. He got a standing ovation from the entire house. People have been asking him if he was going to retire. HHH said he wanted to make a huge impact in the business and retire before the career retired him. HHH broke up as he spoke HHH had to wonder if it was time. He said you can’t defeat time. HHH said he never wanted to be the guy who hung out too long. He never wanted to be the guy that couldn’t have a life when it was all over. HHH said he was at that crossroads. Brock Lesnar made HHH ask himself if he was done. HHH didn’t know if he was through. HHH said he wants to come out and be what he has always been. He knew, however that he couldn’t do that now. He wasn’t sure if he ever would be able to do that, again. HHH said he may have already answered his own question as to if he could come back and take out Brock Lesnar. HHH said he wanted to say “Thank you!” to all the fans. HHH said the WWE Stars give their all, each and every night, for the fans’ entertainment. HHH said the fans have always cared for him and that has gotten him through it all. HHH, through broken words, said “Thank you for letting me play the game”. HHH hoped that the fans would never forget him. It may be over, at least for now. There was a massive “Thank you, Hunter!” chant. He struck the HHH pose (as best he could with the busted arm) and drew even more cheers. Tears flowed all around the arena.
Raw looked at Dolph Ziggler sending Jericho out of Raw, last week.
Chris Jericho’s music hit but it was Dolph Ziggler who came out. Dolph taunted the crowd for expecting to see Jericho. Ricardo Rodriguez then introduced Alberto Del Rio. He came out in a cream-colored 1963 Mercedes. I prefer the 1965 powder blue Mustang. I guess Candy Apple Red would work. Dolph Ziggler almost cashed in on Sheamus, Friday, but Randy Orton laid him out.
Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio vs Randy Orton and Sheamus
Orton and Ziggler started off and Orton took the early advantage. Orton with the Blanchard Slingshot Suplex. After a quick break, Del Rio and Orton fought on the floor. Dolph took the tag and hit a Jumping Elbow Drop. Rear Chin Lock by Dolph to slow things down. Orton fought free but took a Kitchen Sink.for two. Del Rio with the tag. Del Rio with an Arm Lock by Orton broke free. Headbutt by Del Rio. Orton with a Rolling Pin, out of the corner. Orton sent Del Rio over the ropes and to the floor.
Rodriguez rolled Del RIo in. Dolph and Sheamus both tagged in. Sheamus exploded with a Mr. Wrestling II Running Kneelift. Dolph attack Ortona nd Sheamus. Dolph slid down Sheamus’ back. Irish Curse Backbreaker but Del RIo made the save. Rodriguez slid in the case but Orton with the Twisted Sister Backbreaker. Brogue Kick!
Your Winners: Randy Orton and Sheamus
Grade: B+ (89%)
Jerry Lawler was in the locker room. Lawler told John Cena that he had to beat Punk on his own. He said Punk would just throw it in his face that Cena had to save the day. Cena was still worried but agreed to stay out.
Kane came out and Josh Mathews refused to stay at the announce table. Kane then sat with Michael Cole.
Zack Ryder vs David Otunga
Otunga with a kick and a clubbing shot. Zack started to fight back but ate a Back Elbow. Kane was still silent. Corner Clothesline and Spear by Otunga. Neck Vise by Otunga Otunga pulled Zack off the ropes. Zack with the Rough Ryder Leg Lariat after ducking a SHort Arm Clothesline.
Your Winner: Zack Ryder
Grade: B- (80%)
Kane got in the ring and Goozled Ryder. He let him go and Chokeslammed Otunga, instead.
Punk warmed up, backstage.
A.J. Lee said John Cena would get a shot at C.M> Punk at Night of Champions.
The fans voted, so…
C.M. Punk vs Jerry “The King” Lawler
Steel Cage Match
Punk offered the first shot to Lawler. Lawler floored Punk with the fist. Punk looked shocked. Punk with several sharp kicks and Forearm Shots. Kneelifts by Punk into the Rolling Neckbreaker. Punk kicked Lawler in the back and then nailed Crossfaces. Punk pushed Lawler down with a boot. Rear Chin Lock by Punk into more Crossfaces. Punk threw Lawler down and looked around. Punk decided to end this early. He changed his mind and decide to inflict more pain and damage. Punk went to the top rope but Lawler got the ropes. Punk ended up crotched. Lawler tried to get out of the cage but Punk caught him. Running Elbow Drops by Punk.
Punk taunted everyone that he was going to knock out Laweler. Lawler shoved Punk into the steel cage. Lawler started to punch back. Lawler threw Punk into the steel mesh, again. Running Clothesline by Lawler into the Fistdrop! He dropped the strap, first. 1-2-no. Lawler went to leave but Punk caught him. Elevator Knee but Punk fell. Punk called for the Go To Sleep. Uranage into the Anaconda Vise. Lawler had no choice but to tap out. Punk refused to let Lawler go.
Your Winner: C.M. Punk
Grade: B (84%)
Punk took the microphone and then looked under the ring. He found a length of chain. He padlocked the cage. Lawler locked up Lawler and told him to say that Punk was the best in the world. Lawler’s answer: “Hell, no!” Punk kept dropping elbows on Lawler. He then demanded that Lawler say that Punk was the best wrestler in the world. John Cena rushed down but he couldn’t get in the cage. He ordered the cage to be raised. Cena told Punk to leave Lawler alone. Punk kept dropping knees on Lawler’s head and chest. Punk slid out of the ring as the cage was raised.
Well, my friends, it’s time for me to head for the airport. The wild journey begins in a few hours. What a Ringside Remembrances this is going to make. As always, I wish you…