Welcome to Raw 1001. After last week’s wild event, things didn’t calm down much.
I love the new “WWE, Now, Then, Forever” video opening. So cool.
The show was in Ohio, this week. There was a fire, earlier in the night, due to a pyro accident. Fortunately, no one was hurt. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler looked back at highlights of Raw 1000. There were all kinds of returns, last week (Lita, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, Stephanie McMahon, Mae Young and her son, Hand, Undertaker, Bradshaw…no not JBL…Farooq and more).
Live from Cincinnati, C.M. Punk came out to a mixed reaction. The fans weren’t happy that Punk attacked Rock, last week. Cole and Lawler were hoping that Punk would explain his actions. THe crowd got hostile as Punk started to talk. He said everyone wants a Wrestlemania Moment. Last week, Punk got a Raw Moment that was bigger than most Mania Moments. Punk wanted to bring to the fans’ attention that the ending of Raw upset Punk. Punk didn’t like that Jerry Lawler said Punk had turned his back on the fans. Punk got out of the ring and walked up to the announce table. He crawled on it and sat cross-legged. Punk couldn’t believe Lawler could jump to such a conclusion. He said Lawler turned his back on him, not the fans. Punk said The Rock was not the WWE Universe. Punk called Rock “a delusional movie star”. Punk said he didn’t appreciate Rock interrupted him. He was then dissed by Rock. Punk also didn’t like Rock’s attitude that he was going to take the WWE title from him. Punk said Dwayne tried to make Raw 1000 all about him, as usual. Punk showed Rock the kind of man that Rock would be dealing with at the Royal Rumble. Punk was amazed that The Rock hasn’t said a thing in a week, on social media outlets. Punk said he took back the spotlight to end Raw 1000. He wanted them all to see “The Best Wrestler in the World.”
Big Show came strolling from the back. Michael Cole said Show was the main reason that Punk still holds the WWE title. Punk wanted Show’s music turned off. Punk knew that Show wanted to steal the spotlight. Show said the end of Raw 1000 was all about him. Show didn’t care if the fans booed him. He cost Cena the WWE title and made Cena the first person to fail when they cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase. Show reminded Punk that Show hit the WMD on Cena and Punk still couldn’t make the pin. In fact, Punk would have tapped out to the STF, had it not been for Show…according to Show. Show vowed to be the next WWE Champ. Punk was amused by that promise. Punk said he was the only winner on Raw, these days.
John Cena crashed the party and tore into Big Show. Show bailed out of harm’s way. To fill out the party, A.J. Lee came out in her role as the new General Manager of Raw. She made the main event: Big Show vs John Cena. The winner gets C.M. Punk at Summerslam for the WWE title. A.J. looked nice in her tailored suit.
I wanted to send a special thanks out to the 30,000 people that listened in to myself, Dustin Ardine, Chaz Masters and Frisco Flame on Saturday night as we did the simulcast of Summerfest 2012. It was a lot of fun doing PWD Airtime with such good people.
Cole and Lawler wanted the fans to Tout about how they feel about Punk’s comments. In the back, Daniel Bryan went to A.J.’s office. He hesitated and then walked away, without knocking.
Santino Marella vs Alberto Del Rio
Ricardo Rodriguez brought out his jefe. No fancy car for Alberto, this week. (bummer) The car wasn’t allowed in the building, due to the earlier fire at the arena. Santino ducked Del Rio and punched away. Clothesline and kicks by Del Rio. Santino with punches and a Suplex. Del Rio sent Santino into the corner and tried to smother him in the corner. Irish Whip by Del Rio. Santino flipped Del RIo over the ropes and Dropkicked Del Rio to the floor. Raw took a break.
Del Rio was working over Santino’s right arm. Santino tried to fight back but Alberto just beat the US champ down. Double Stomp to the chest. Del Rio kept kicking away and then refocused on the right arm and shoulder. Santino clubbed free. Santino with a Clutch Side Suplex. Santino with The Splitz but Alberto with a kick to the head. Boot Spin on Santino’s face. Santino went to strike with The Cobra but Santino was sent to the corner. Cross Armbreaker and Santino quickly tapped out.
Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Grade: B (84%)
Santino took the microphone and said he just destroyed the US champ, as if he were nothing. Alberto said Santino, Sheamus and the fans were all beneath him. Alberto said he will not compete again until Summerslam. He felt only a World title match was worthy of his talent.
Back at the G.M. Office Door, Daniel Bryan tried to get the courage to knock. Lawler and Cole talked about the main event. They then sent it to the trailer for No Holds Barred.
I want to say my good-bye to one of Hogan’s other former co-stars. Sherman Hemsley, best known as George Jefferson on The Jefferson, co-starred with Hogan in Mr. Nanny. He was a great comic actor and, from all I’ve heard, a wonderful human being. He passed away, last week. Thank you for the laughter and may your rest be a peaceful one.
Brodus Clay and the Funkadactyls were dancing. Vickie Guerrero came out, laughing, and called them disgraces. She wanted to show them how the Queen Diva could put a step on. She looked like she was having some kind of seizure. She did shake nice, tho. Damien Sandow called a halt to all the silliness. Buzzkill Bum.He’s now calling himself a Martyr. He felt that a crime was committed against all humanity, last week. It was D-X’s attack on the arrogant loud mouth. Sandow attacked Clay, who was laughing. Sandow Clipped the knee of Clay. Sandow with repeated Kneelifts. Sandow stomped the Funkasaurus and broke Clay’s necklace. The annoying music of Sandow then rang out. This aint Easter and certainly not a cathedral. Jeez.
Cole and Lawler looked at the issues between Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler. Dolph wondered if Jericho was losing his touch. Jericho has attacked Dolph, a couple of times, since them. Jericho even fed Dolph to Sheamus, before nailing a Code Breaker on the Show Off.
Daniel finally went into A.J.;s office. He started to go off on her for jilting him but she reminded him that she was now his boss. A.J. thought maybe Daniel was getting ready to commit her. Daniel said the men in white were his groomsmen. She told Daniel that he would be facing Sheamus. It would not be a title match.She went into a “No!” rolling chant.
Raw then looked at the confrontation between Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman and Stephanie McMahon and Triple H. Paul initially denied HHH his chance to fight The Game. HHH and Stephanie pushed Paul until he made the match happen. Stephanie called Paul “a failure as a businessman” and “a professional parasite”. After all the talking, Stephanie attacked Heyman. That brought out Lesnar. Lesnar and HHH went fist and fire. That match is either going to rock or suck, no mid-ground.
The fans got to choose the match between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan. The options were No Holds Barrd, Street Fight or Falls Count Anywhere. Sheamus was asked what kind of match he would want. He didn’t care but he was happy that the fans got to make the deicision. Sheamus thought Josh looked nervous. He told him to take it easy.
Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus
Non-Title Match, Street Fight Rules
Daniel wanted the fans to stop chanting “Yes!”. Only he was supposed to go that. He had a hissy fit when they got louder and louder. Sheamus then entered the arena to a huge pop. Raw looked back at Alberto Del Rio’s attack, a month ago. Del Rio slammed his car hood on Sheamus, a dozen times or so. Sheamus was split open.Jerry Lawler revealed what kind of match it would be. Street Fight got 73% of the vote.
Daniel with a Flying Knee and sharp kicks to the chest. Sheamus clubbed Daniel and threw him into a corner. Float OVer by Daniel but Sheamus with an Irish Curse Backbreaker. Sheamus with hard knees to the face, in the corner. Daniel with a Drop Toe Hold to send Sheamus, face first, into the turnbuckles. Daniel twisted bck on Sheamus’ arm. The two exchanged fists. Back Elbow by Shamus to drop Daniel. Daniel rolled out to the floor. Sheamus threw Daniel into the barricade, twice. Sheamus with a Back Body Drop to send Daniel into the steel ramp. The two fought up to the top of the ramp. Sheamus slammed Daniel’s face into the WWE statue. Daniel came back with brutal kicked. Daniel kicked Sheamus off the ramp and Sheamus seemed to hurt his ankle. Flying Knee, off the stage, to lay out Sheamus. Raw took a break during this Hour Turner Match.
The two were back in the ring and Daniel was focused on the bad ankle. Sheamus started to fight back. Kitchen Sink by Daniel. Daniel then sent Sheamus to the floor. Daniel flew off the apron and into Sheamus’ arms. Modified Fallaway Slam sent Danirl into the barricade. Sheamus with brutal Crossfaces as Daniel ws trapped in the barricade. Suplex, on the floor, by Sheamus. Sheamus pitched Daniel into the ring and went for “the toys”. He picked up a kendo stick and steel chair. Daniel threw them both outside. La Bandera Clothesline by Sheamus to send Daniel to the floor. Sheamus started to the outside but go walloped by the kendo stick, over and over. I’ve taken a shot froma kendo stick and they sting, even when Porkchop Moretti hits you. Daniel then got the chair and wedged it in the corner. Sheamus caught the kendo stick and hit a Headbutt on Daniel. Sheamus did batting practice on Daniel. Daniel Dropkicked Sheamus intot he steel chair. 1-2-no.
Daniel rolled back out to the floor. Daniel went fora chair but a Shoulder Tackle dropped Daniel. Sheamus then hit Daniel with a steel chair. Sheamus tore apart the ring steps and went for a slam. Daniel sent Sheamus into the ring post. Daniel slid the ring steps into the ring and went to get his opponent. Daniel whipped Sheamus into the barricade and then chunked Sheamus back into the ring. The two fought over the kendo stick. Sheamus tried for White Noise, on the ring steps, but settle for the Brogue Kick.
Your Winner: Sheamus
Grade: A- (92%)
Raw looked back at Punk’s comments about The Rock, from earlier.
Daniel said he hurt his neck and needed a doctor. He would not leave the ring until he gets a doctor. The refs tried to take him to the back but he refused to go. Cole sent it to a video highlight package about C.M. Punk’s rant from earlier. Big Show, John Cena and A.J. Lee all interrupted the WWE champ.
A doctor came to check on Daniel. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth came out. Truth was looking good in his sharp suit. Kofi asked Daniel to get out of the ring. He said Daniel may be having some tough times but don’t take it out on the fans. Truth told Daniel to ske-daddle. Daniel laughed at the whole Little Jimmy thing. Daniel pretended to talk to Little Jimmy and then kicked the imaginary character out of the ring. Daniel said it was an invisible child that Truth was dealing with. The doctors in white came out to check on R-Truth. A.J. then came out and directed the medicos to take care of Daniel Bryan. A.J. thought Daniel needed a psych evaluation. It took four of them to get him out.
Mc McMahon will name Smackdown’s new GM on Friday. I hope it’s Teddy Long. Little Jimmy was walked over to the announce table.
Kofi Kingston vs Titus O’Neil
The Prime Time Players came out, in force. Titus with the Kneelift and Irish Whip. Kofi got the boots up and went for a Crossbody. Titus caught him and hit a Backbreaker. A.W. was on his microphone nad rambled, almost constantly. Tutus with a Scoop Slam and a 1 count. Titus twisted on Kofi’s neck. Kofi punched the ribs of Titus but the shots had almost no effect. Titus held Kofi for some time and hit a Spinning Slam.
Kofi with Knife Edge Chops and a Dropkick. Controlled Frenzy by Kofi. Boom Drop! Darren Young got up on the apron but R-Truth nailed him. AW distracted Kofi with his shoe. Titus with The Prime Time Plunge (Sit-Out Powerbomb) to take the win.
Your Winner Titus O’Neil
Grade: B (85%)
C.M. Punk talked with John Cena. Punk said Cena would have done exactly what he did, if the roles had been reversed. Punk said he didn’t care if Cena or Show wins the main event. He taunted Cena with the fact that he did to Rock, in one night, what Cena couldn’t do in a whole year.
Raw looked at Heath Slater’s recent failures with the WWE Legends. At Raw 1000, Lita and Bradshaw took out “The One Man Rock Band”. Heath Slater was done with dealing with Legends. He issued an open challenge to any Current WWE competitor…
Heath Slater vs Randy Orton
The Viper was back from his recent “vacation”. He finally got rid of that dirt-face beard thing. The fans were thrilled to see Orton. Heath…not so much. He struck the “Big O” pose and the excitement rose even higher.
Heath with a hard kick and rush to the corner. Heath punched and kicked on Orton. He got cocky, which led to a series of Clotheslines and a Snap Powerslam by Orton. Orton took Heath to the apron and nailed the Rope Assisted DDT. The cheers were deafening. R-K-O!
Your Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: B (84%)
Daniel Bryan was in the back, trying to get out of answering the psych questions. The doctor asked some yes and no questions. It led to a “Yes!”-a-thon. Daniel was all kinds of irate as he screamed at the doctor. Get him the jacket with the extra long sleeves that tie in the back.
Chris Jericho and Christian vs The Miz and Dolph Ziggler
This was the Second Hour Turner Event. Christian and Dolph to start. The two locked up and Dolph with a Takedown off the Go Behind. Christian popped Dolph in the face and Flapjacked him. Miz took the tag and Christian beat him like a red headed step-child. Miz tagged back out, quickly. Tag to Jericho and Dolph tagged out. Clotheslines by Jericho. Scoop Slam into an Elbow Drop.Jericho with Knife Edge Chops. Irish Whip but Miz got the boots up. Miz tagged out and Dolph punched away at Jericho. Jericho with a Sholder Tackle into the Universal. Jericho went to the top rope for an Ax Bomber. Christian flew off the top, to the floor, to take out both Dolph and Miz, who had been thrown to the floor. Break time.
Miz had Jericho trapped in a Rear Chin Lock. Jericho with a Roll UP for two.Miz went back tot he Rear Chin Lock. Jericho with a Back Drop Suplex.Dolph and Christian both tagged in. Flying Forearm by Christian. Christian then flipped over the ropes and hit an Uppercut. Morningstar into the Springboard Sunset FLip for two. Christian smacked Miz. That let Dolph connect with a Dropkick. Tag to Miz. Running Knee to Christian’s face. Dolph got a kick in, as well. Miz with a Slingshot to send Christian up into the bottom rope. Miz with a wrenching Rear Chin Lock. Christian punched free and tossed Miz to the outside. Christian crawled towards his corner but Miz pulled Jericho off the apron. Double team by Dolph and Miz.
Miz got a two and then tagged out to Dolph. Dolph stomped the former I-C champ, Christian. Flying Elbow Drop by Dolph into another Rear Chin Lock. Dolph went into a modified Shoulder Stand to show off. Christian fought to his feet and began to punch away. Rolling Neckbreaker by Dolph. Dolph totally missed the Zig Zag. I mean the guy was a foot and a half from Christian’s skull. Sky High Powerbomb by Christian.
Jericho and Miz with tags. Shoulder Tackles by Jericho. Dropkick to Dolph. Running Bulldog into the Lionsault on Miz. Dolph made the save. Christian with the Spear on Dolph. Miz threw Christian intot he corner. Miz blocked The Wall of Jericho and nailed a Big Boot. Miz set for his finisher but Jericho blocked it. Christian with a thumb to Miz’s eyes. Code Breaker by Jericho!
Your Winners: Christian and Chris Jericho
Grade: A (94%)
Dolph attacked Jericho with the blue briefcase, after the match.
Daniel Bryan had to take a Rorshack Test. When the doctor set down the pictures, it formed a Goat Face. Daniel wondered if Charlie Sheen was behind all this.
Raw ran touts about who was less stable.
Tensai vs Tyson Kidd
Raw looked back to when Kidd beat Tensai, in a near record time. Kid ducked and dodged and attacked with kicks and an Enziguri. Steam Roller on Kidd by Tensai. Corner Splash by Kidd. Tensai with a Slingshot to send Kidd into the ropes. Elbow Drops by the Tattooed Titan. Tensai drove his fingers into the shoulder of Kidd. Kidd seemed to have a cut over his left eye. Sakamoto watched the chaos, from the floor. Jumping Enziguri into a Roll Up for a two for Kidd. Kidd with another kick to the head and a Buffbuster for two. Tensai Bomb into the Backsplash Senton to take the win.
Your Winner: Tensai
Grade B (84%)
After the match, Tensai with Short Arm Clotheslines and a Elbow Drops. The ref warned Tensai to stop. Tensai lifted Kidd and hit the Over-the-Shoulder Backbreaker. The ref reversed the decision.
Your Winner (by DQ) Tyson Kidd
Three refs pulled Tensai back from the downed Kidd. Tensai then attacked Sakamoto. He Headbutted him and threw him out of the ring. “Albert” chants rang out.
In the “Doctor’s Office”, the doc found Daniel to be irritable and obsessed with Charlie Sheen. He did give Daniel a clear bill of health on the insanity front. Kane then came in and said he was Daniel’s Anger Management Coach. Kane annihilated Daniel and walked off.
Raw looked at the Brock Lesnar/Triple H situation. Last week, Paul Heyman said Lesnar wouldn’t fight. HHH and Stephanie McMahon pushed Heyman into accepting the match. Lesnar then came out and HHH and Lesnar started slugging it out.
C.M> Punk came out to watch the main event. He joined Cole and Lawler at the announce table.
John Cena vs Big Show
Number One Contender Match
Big Show came out first for the match and tried to intimidate Punk. It didn’t work. Cena then came out to one of the most positive reactions that he has gotten in a long time. Cena told the cameraman that they were going to set the place on fire. Bad pun. Show stared at Cena, from the floor. Punk talked about Rock’s trying to steal his spotlight, last week, which is why he did what he did.
Cena ducked a charging Show and started punching away. Show countered with a punch to the ribs of Cena to stop him cold. Irish WHip and Corner Butt Bum by Show. Show taunted Cena and told him to get up. When Cena did rise, he got another shot to the ribs and a Headbutt. Open Hand Slap to Cena’s chest. Show with a second Open Hand Slap. Show missed a third try and Cena with a Sleeper, while riding Show’s back. Show backed into a corner to escape. Cena flew off the ropes and into a Bearhug. cena slid around and locked in another Sleeper. This time, he really had it under the chin. Show dropped to his knees. Punk gave Lawler a hard time about his announcing skills. Lawler countered with “You couldn’t electrify a fish tank if you threw a toaster in it.” Raw went to break.
Show uelled at the crowd as he stepped on Cena’s chest. Show with a Hammer Throw and Backsplash into the corner. Show shouted at Punk, asking how Punk would beat him. Show with another Hammer Throw. He bellowed “This is easy!” Cena with a Flying Bulldog, off the ropes. Cena punched and kicked at the giant. Show caught Cena in a Bear Hug. Cena with a Back Elbow to the face to escape. Cena tried for a Body Slam but Show shifted his weight and drove Cena to the canvas. Show threatened a Chokeslam. Cena converted it into a DDT.
Show with a Side Slam. Show went up for an Avalanche Splash but Cena moved. Cena went Vintage on Show, including hitting a Side Slam and Five Knuckle Shuffle. Show came back with a Chokeslam for two. The cover was lax. Cena rolled out to the floor. Show went out to get Cena. He rolled Cena under the bottom rope. Cena was punched out of the ring. Show went to get Cena. Cena ran Show into the ring post. Show threw a charging Cena into C.M. Punk. Show got back in the ring and the ref started to count. Cena barely made it into the ring at the nine count.
Show was amazed that Cena was back in the ring. Show cocked his fist to deliver the WMD. Cena ducked and went for the Attitude Adjustment. Punk attacked both men from behind. Punk with a vicious Crescent Kick to Show’s head. Punk got a microphone and his title belt. “And your winner, of this contest is, nobody” was Punk’s comment. He called them both losers.
Your Winner: No Contest
Grade: B (84%)
A.J. Lee came out to correct Punk. She said both men were winner and Punk would face both Big Show and John Cena, at Summerslam, in a Triple Threat Match! Punk came back out and told A.J. that she was crazy and couldn’t do that to him. He called her a bad G.M.. Punk demanded A.J.’s respect.