WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ (TNA) IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted August 19th, 2011 by jshannon

Spike was happy to push the X-Division with an 8-man Gauntlet to determine the new Number One Contender to Brian Kendrick’s title.

Kurt Angle’s rant, from last week, opened the show. Kurt went off on Dixie Carter for stabbing him in the back when it came to his ex-wife and her “affair” with Jeff Jarrett. Kurt said he was going to eliminate all the young talent.

Sting’s music echoed off the rafters as we went live. Sting had a black steel chair and his black bat. Sting was having a mental breakdown, falling all over the rampway. He staggered into the ring and fell down like Ric Flair often does. Sting said what he did was a re-enactment of what happened, last week. Sting said it was awesome to have his rear end handed to him by Hulk Hogan. Sting said he, just like the fans, wanted to see the Hulkster back in the ring. Sting wanted a Hogan chant to get Hulk in the ring for a fight, tonight.

Ric Flair’s music heralded the return of the Nature Boy to Impact Wrestling. Flair went into full-on Styling and Profiling mode. Flair questioned Sting about calling Hogan “the greatest wrestler alive”. Flair said Sting was a “special cat” in wrestling. Flair said the fans kept asking for “One More Match” between Sting and Flair. The fans started chanting that. Flair praised Sting for being in as good a shape as he was 20 years ago. Flair said he was tired of hearing Sting’s name. Flair said if he beats Sting, Sting retires, permanently. If Flair were to lose, he would give Sting Hogan on a silver platter. Flair wanted an answer. Sting asked the people what they thought. Of course, they wanted the battle, so did Sting! Wooooooo!

Hogan was losing his mind as Flair walked into Hogan’s office. Flair stepped back out as Hogan screamed at him. Hogan wanted to know if Flair was out of his head. Flair wanted to know where the love was. Hogan told Flair how he unloaded and crucified Sting, last week. Flair asked Hogan to calm down because he owned Sting. He was confident that he had Sting’s number. Flair promised Hogan that he would kick Sting’s *ss and get rid of the Stinger. Hogan said to rally the troops and be sure to eliminate Sting. Flair promised he would get rid of Sting.

Taz and Tenay updated the Bound For Glory Series.

Scott Steiner vs Devon

Bound For Glory Series Match

Matt Morgan provided analysis for this brutal battle. Devon stopped to talk to his wife and kids before getting in the ring. Scott tried to jump Devon but Devon took Scott down with a Funk Neckbreaker. Devon with a Flying Headbutt. Scott kicked Devon’s chest and went for an Irish Whip. Devon reversed it into a Side Slam. Scott with a Back Elbow. Scott used the ropes for the cheap pin.

Your Winner: Scott Steiner (+7)

Grade: C- (70%)

Samoa Joe came into the ring and attacked Devon. He hit a Running Muscle Buster and then worked over Devon’s right leg. Devon’s kids jumped the rail and rushed the ring. Joe backed the boys into the corner. The Pope, D’Angelo Dinero, hit the ring to protect Devon’s boys. Devon may be out of the tourney.

Up next, the 8-man Gauntlet!

Samoa Joe told the camera crew to not be surprised by his actions. Joe said he was playing by his rules, now. Joe said he was going to continue until he got rid of the Bound For Glory Series. He said no one had the b*lls to fire him. Joe swore he was just getting started.

8-Man Gauntlet Match

Alex Shelley, Anthony Nese, Kid Kash, Robbie E (with Cookie), Zema Ion, Jesse Sorenson, Mark Haskins and Austin Aries

Alex Shelley vs Mark Haskins

Round One

Running Dropkick by Mark. Mark pounded away on Alex. Shelley with a kick and Knife Edge Chops. Alex with a Spinning Fore-arm Shiver. Mark with a Corner Arm Drag. RKO by Mark for a two. Mark sat Alex on the top rope Alex with a Super Inverted Atomic Drop and Running Kick tot he face. Mark turned Sliced Bread into a Backslide. Mark with a wild GTS variation to score the win.

Mark Haskins vs Robbie E

Mark with an instant roll-up for the three.

Mark Haskins vs Zema Ion

Ion with a Top Rope Dropkick. Ion with an Arm Bar Dropkick to the face. Wild. Ion missed a Corner Rush. School Boy by Mark. Ion went to the apron. DDT by Ion. Ion went to the top and nailed the 450.

Zema Ion vs Jesse Sorenson

Jesse with a Flipping Leg Drop. Ion with an Inverted RKO for a two. Ion went up, again. Jesse got the knees up to counter the 450. Jesse with a CrossRhodes.

Jesse Sorenson vs Tony Nese

Tony with a shot to the head. Sorenson missed a Corner run. Tony with the Running Knee. Tony went for Wasteland but Jesse countered. Gut Wrench Back Throw by Tony. Spinning Scoop Slam by Tony. Sorenson with a CrossRhodes to take the win.

Jesse Sorenson vs Kid Kash

Kid with a Side Slam Backbreaker. Scoop Powerslam by Kash. Kash went to the middle rope with a Springboard Spinning Crossbody. Kash went for a Double Underhook Powerbomb but Jesse rolled him up.

Jesse Sorenson vs Austin Aries

Before Aries got in, Kash with a Double Underhook Brainbuster. Aries went for the arrogant pin but Jesse kicked out.Aries wanted a Suplex but Jesse with a Rollup for a two. Aries kicked Jesse in the face. Aries with a Corner Dropkick. Brainbuster by Aries!

Your Winner: Austin Aries

Gauntlet Grade; A+ (98%)

This is why the X-Division is so great!

Christy Hemme interviewed Aries. Aries claimed he took out seven X-Stars (well, really only one). Aries said he would take out the Wizard of Odd, Brian Kendrick.

Brian Kendrick stormed down to the ring to confront Aries. Kendrick offered a handshake. Aries wouldn’’ take it. Brian then attacked Aries as Aries went up the ramp. Security rushed out to break up the two. Kendrick was like a buzzsaw on steroids.

Ric Flair was getting ready to fight. He grumbled ala Jimmy Garvin’s “Walk Walk Walk” rant of years ago.

Impact showed Flair’s challenge, again. Sting wandered around, backstage.

Taz and Tenay talked about Mr. Anderson’s ousting from Immortal. Both of Ken’s eardrums were ruptured in the mugging by Immortal. He is out indefinitely.

Impact ran the Bound For Glory Series match.

Jackie and ODB talked backstage. ODB was set to battle Mickie James. Jackie said Mickie wasn’t in their league. ODB and Jackie were looking to sign a multi-year deal. That match was set to go…next.

Tracy Brooks talked with Eric Bischoff. She wanted to put herself back as the “Knockout Law”. Eric said he would think about it. Tracy looked incredible. Eric chuckled at the idea of putting Tracy in charge of the Knockouts.

ODB vs Mickie James

I have to admit that I’m pulling for ODB. Mickie is great but ODB is one of my Facebook friends and she’s worked with us at PWD. Speaking of that, there are still time to get tickets for Saturday’s show at the Neil Road Rec Center to watch Abyss battle the legendary Shannon Ballard and “Dreamachine” Dustin Ardine finally face his arch-enemy, The Prophet Izekiel.

Back to business, ODB and Jackie came out first. Mickie then came out in a hot denim outfit. Mickie gets her rematch for the Knockout title on September 1st on Impact. This was the first time the two had battled. I thought they had gone toe to toe back in OVW but I guess not.

Odb threw Mickie tot he mat and then powered Mickie’s arm. Cartwheel by Mickie. Mickie sl54rtrid under ODB and nailed a Snap Mare. Slider Dropkick by Mickie. Odb sent Mickie to the ropes but Mickie with a kick. Fallaway Slam by ODB. Kip Up by ODB. ODB ran Mickie into the corner and then Steam Rolled the former Knockout champ. Mickie kicked out of the pin at two. ODB lifted Mickie and ran her back into the corner.

ODB with a Standing Bear Hug. Mickie worked her way over ODB’’ back. Mickie with an In-Tight Dropkick. Mickie with the Funk Neckbreaker. Both ladies were down. Double Kip Up. The two women pounded away at each other. ODB pushed Mickie off but James came back with Flying Clotheslines. ODB blocked an Irish Whip. ODB ate a boot and Back Elbow. ODB countered the Head Scissors and knocked Mickie to the floor. Jackie walked around and held back from jumping Mickie. Mickie fought from the apron, ramming ODB’s head into the corner, three stimes. Top Rope Thesz Press by Mickie. MickieDT blocked. Corner Splash by ODB. She missed the Bronco Buster. Mickie scored with her MickieDT! Good grief.

Your Winner: Mickie James

Grade: B+ (89%)

Jackie was frustrated but she offered a handshake to the winner of the fall.

Winter and Angelina Love talked about the sensual experience that wearing the Knockout title was. Love mentioned wearing the belt, five times. Winter wanted to wear the belt, forever. Winter said she was happy to know that Love would have her back, in two weeks. Winter said Mickie was distracted by her music and such. Winter said this was her world. She drank from a goblet and blood dripped from her lips.

RVD vs A.J. Styles

Bound For Glory Series Match

Jerry Lynn was watching the match. Styles took RVD down. Styles with a Headlock into a Front Face lock. Styles swtiched to working over the arm. Styles sent Styles down. RVD with a Leg Scissors Pin for two. The two locked up and moved to the ropes. Leapfrog and Dropkick by Styles. Styles with the Side Slam Backbreaker off the Irish Whip. Scoop Slam by Styles. Flying Kneedrop by Styles. Styles pounded the back and Knife Edge Chopped RVD. RVD with a Monkey Flip off the Reversed Irish Whip.

RVD with a hard kick to the face. Rolling Thunder! 1-2-no. Jerry Lynn got on the apron to complain about the count. RVD wanted Lynn to leave. RVD with the Windmill Kick. RVD started up to the top but Stules caught him. Superplex blocked by RVD. RVD pushed Styles off the top rope. 5-Star Frog Splash…into Styles’ knees. 2 count. Styles and RVD exchanged punches. Styles wanted the Styles Clash but RVD turned it into a Back Body Drop. Pele! Jerry Lynn got in the ref’s face, again. The ref called for the bell.

Your Winner (by DQ): A.J. Styles (+3)

RVE (-10)

Impact pushed the Bound For Glory Series. While the matches have been awesome, the Series, itself, has left me a bit cold.

In the back, RVD and Jerry Lynn argued. Lynn said RVD was getting robbed. He reminded Lynn that he (RVD) lost points, due to Lynn. Lynn swore he was just there to help. Lynn was ticked off.

Elsewhere, Ric Flair was rambling as he walked around. Flair began to freak out at the odd sounds around him. He said he wasn’t afraid of Sting. The odd sounds continued. Flair said he wasn’t going to climb ladders or catwalks to fight Sting. Flair demanded that Sting come out and face him. Flair felt all this was BS and it was only making him angry. Flair told Sting to quit screwing around in the warehouse. Flair sent Gunner to attack Sting. Sting took out the rising superstar. Flair fired Gunner as he ran off. Sting threw Gunner into crates. Sting wanted to break something, so he broke a chair over Gunner’s back. Sting threw Gunner into some lockers.

Sting told Gunner that he would go somewhere in this business.

Eric Young was in search of Scott Baio. Sigh. Another Danny Bonaduce-like waste of time. EY stopped tons of people to ask where Scott Baio was. Next Week, EY finds Scott “Chachi” Baio. Oh, Joy.

Crimson limped into the backstage area. He was not the happiest of campers. He has something to say, next.

Spike ran a promo for the Video Music Awards. I thought MTV didn’t bother with music videos, anymore. They are more interesting in mind-numbingly dumb reality shows.

Crimson limped badly towards the ring. Last week, Kurt Angle went after Crimson’s injured knee. Crimson was hot as the fans chanted for him. Crimson talked about his week of pain and thinking. Crimson said he had personal issues with Kurt Angle to discuss. He called out the former Olympian. Kurt’s music went off and the World Champ strolled out. Kurt was stone-faced as he approached the undefeated superstar. Kurt got in the ring and circled Crimson. Crimson was irate that Kurt chose him as the first victim to eliminate. Crimson told Kurt that Angle had failed in his little objective. Kurt said he couldn’t return Crimson’s respect. He said Crimson was someone that was not going to go anywhere. Kurt said he was brought in to make guys like Crimson. He called Crimson a “Green-*ss B*tch”. Kurt talked about the people that he made in the business, without calling names. Kurt talked about the disrespect he has received. Crimson said Kurt was listening to Hogan’s BS and it was warping his mind. Crimson said it was an honor for the young guys to fight Kurt. Kurt said guys like Crimson weren’t worthy to shine his gold medal. Kurt told Crimson that he had no future in the business. Crimson took serious offense with the comment. Crimson said he was already a force in the business.

Backstage, Mexican America talked about going for the belts. They rumbled in Spanglish that they would beat Los Borachos (the drunks) for the belts.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett were with Taz and Tenay. Jeff showed off his AAA belt. They trash talked the Spanish Announce Team.

Hernandez y Anarchia (Mexican America) vs Bobby Roode and James Storm (Beer Money)

World Tag Team Title Match

Sarita and Rosita joined Hernandez and Anarchia at ringside. Beer Money wore the newest Beer Money shirts. This is Mexican America’s last shot at the tag team belts.

Jeremy Borash did the official intros. Earl Hebner was the ref of record. Anarchia and Bobby to start. Roode sent the challenger to the ropes. Roode with a Back Elbow and Corner Stomps. Storm tagged in and they double teamed Anarchia. Double Neck Snaps and Storm got a two count. Anarchia Floated Over. Storm with a Reality Check as Jeff Jarrett tried to say the Colons were Mexicans.

Anarchia reversed an Irish Whip but Storm got the boot up. Hernandez pulled Storm down, by the hair. Hernandez made the tag and Hernandez leaped over Anarchia to land on a stretched-out Storm. Double Team Shoulder Tackle by Mexican America. Anarchia with a rear Chin Lock. Jarrett made fun of the Guerreros as Storm punched Anarchia. Hernandez made the tag and stopped Storm from tagging out. Storm with a Code Breaker after getting out of the Border Toss. Bobby with a Flying Fore-arm after the tag. He also took out Anarchia. Knife Edge Chop bu Roode. Back Elbow by Bobby and Buffbuster for a two. Anarchia made the save.

Bobby reversed an Irish Whip. Storm with an Enziguri. Slingshot DDT combo but Beer Money. Double Suplex by the champs, leading to the Beer Money chant! Rosita got in the ring and flirted with the champs. Karen went down to protect her “sister”. Jeff ran down to protect his wife. Earl told Karen,to get out. Anarchia threw Storm out but ate a Double R Spinebuster. Hernandez used the Immortal title belt (aka the AAA championship) to clock Roode as Sarita distracted Earl Hebner.

Your Winners and New tag team champs: Mexican America

Grade: B- (82%)

The Jarretts partied with Mexican America.

Fade out.

Have a great week-end, everyone. I’ll be undergoing an Angiogram on Friday, but I’ll be back on my feet by Saturday night for the PWD show in Reno. I’ll also be at the RWF show on the 27th. Hope to see you there.

Peace

–Jay Shannon

Jade89512@yahoo.com

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