WHAT HAPPENED, LAST NIGHT, @ (TNA) IMPACT WRESTLING ON SPIKE
Jeff Jarrett was back from Mexico to celebrate his birthday. He brought his own presents to the party, for the members of Immortal. Plus, Sting got his rematch against Ken Anderson for the World title.
The show opened with a look at Sting’s odd behavior in recent weeks. Bully Ray told Ken Anderson that he was either with Immortal or against them. Immortal got a new member with Ken Anderson
This Week’s Episode: Mid-Summer’s Nightmare
The Immortal music rang out as Hogan and crew came out in tuxs and the girls were smoking hot in skimpy dresses. Not sure who the chicks were. Bischoff had a card table set up in the ring. Bischoff said the table was there to gamble with people’s careers. Bischoff talked about Ken Anderson’s recent party that no one attended. Bischoff said this party was for Ken. Bischoff said the party was there to show solidarity. Bischoff was certain that Anderson was going to leave the show as World Champ. Bischoff called out Anderson.
The lights went out and Sting was at the card table, seated. Bischoff didn’t know what Sting was up to. Eric said Sting had become the cancer and it was up to Ken to excise it. Sting felt confident that he would regain the title and start the return of Dixie Carter. Hogan threatened to strip off his tux and kick Sting’s backside. Hogan said Sting would leave the Impact Zone on a stretcher. Sting said “No” about a million times, in a hundred different ways (slight exaggeration). Sting said he had tons of Aces in the hole. Sting reminded Hogan and Bischoff that they were on a short leash with the Network. Sting said he came prepared with Magic Bullet Aces. There were other clowns up in the rafters. Sting rambled a bit more then the lights went out. I am almost positive those clowns were Los Payasos from AAA.
It was time for an update of the Bound For Glory Series. The various people talked about their desire to win.
Bobby Roode vs The Pope vs Samoa Joe
Bound For Glory Match, Triple Threat
Joe attacked Bobby as Pope looked on. Joe pounded away on the Canadian and Pope tried to steal the win. Joe with a Headbutt on Pope and pitched him to the outside. Joe dropped Bobby with a Jumping Enziguri. Bobby started to fight back but fell victim to a Snap Powerslam. Joe tired to slap on an Arm Bar Submission but Pope made the save. Double R Spinebuster by Roode on Joe. Pope then with the Outer Sweep on Bobby. Pope with a Knife Edge on Roode. Pope cranked on Bobby’s hurt arm . Pope with a wild Uppercut. Pope with a wicked Power Drive DDT for a two on Roode. Pope with the Fistdrop on Roode. Bobby kicked out at two. Pope kept Joe from getting back in the ring. Bobby dodged the DDE and exploded on Pope with several Clotheslines. Bobby with a Side Russian Legsweep and a Haymaker to Joe. Buffbuster by Roode on Pope for a two.
Bobby ran Pope into the corners. Pope got a boot up and climbed to the middle rope. Bobby caught Pope and went for a Superplex. Joe with a Headbutt on Bobby and went for the Muscle Buster. Bobby with a boot to Joe’s mid-section. Bobby went for the Perfectplex but Pope broke things up. Bobby flipped Pope on the apron Joe went for the Kokina Clutch but Roode bridged backwards and pinned Joe!
Your Winner: Bobby Roode (+7)
Grade: B+ (88%)
Joe went off on Earl Hebner for the call. The other refs rushed down to protect him. The Jarretts arrive din the back for La Fiesta.
Hogan told everyone he wanted the head of Sting cut off tonight. Bischoff said he wanted them to remain professional, Eric went off on Abyss for losing the X-title. The Jarretts walked in and put sombreros on everyone in sight. No one looked happy to see them. Jeff had a silver briefcase he wanted to share with everyone. It was a new belt.
Elsewhere, Pope talked with Devon’s kids. They supported Pope. Devon walked up and wanted to know what the Hell was going on. He made it clear he didn’t want his kids around Pope. Pope told the kids to walk off and Devon was not happy. Devon reminded Pope that the kids were nothing to him. Devon called him a two-bit con. Devon told Pope that he didn’t trust Pope. Pope said Devon’s mistrust could come back and bite him in the backside.
Impact ran a highlight reel from Destination X. it was incredible, from what I’ve heard. The video clips were amazing.
Shannon Moore vs Austin Aries
Aries won an Impact Wrestling Contract at Destination X. The two men locked up and Moore with Arm Drags to send Aries flying. Aries with an Amateur Takedown and Backride. Moore tore into Aries in the corner. Aries with a tight Kneelift. Moore sent Aries to the ropes and tripped him on the rebound. Aries scooted to the corner. Moore with an Irish Whip but Aries with a pair of Float Overs. Moore with a Rollup. Aries went for a School Boy but a Standing Switch gave Moore the advantage. Aries tried to Skin the Cat but a Dropkick stopped him. Moore with a Flip Dive over the top rope. Moore pitched Aries back in the ring. Moore hit the Morgasm to get only a two. Aries slid under the ropes and grabbed Moore’s book of Dilligaf. Aries took the chain that had been on the book and cracked Moore in the face. Aries with a Springboard Senton.
Your Winner: Austin Aries
Grade: B+ (88%)
Alex Shelley went off on Austin Aries for the cheating win.
Abyss talked about Bischoff and Hogan being made at him. He was determined to get things back. One of the clowns attacked Abyss with a baseball bat. That looked like Murder Clown with a new mask.
Shannon Moore was complaining about how Aries cheated him. Aries said it was all about winning. Aries said he couldn’t be beaten.
Tara talked about her match against Madison Rayne, later in the night. Rayne wanted to give Tara an out but Tara didn’t want it. The two women have fought backstage. Madison was there to say that she was Tara’s first match when Tara came to TNA. Madison said she was planning on being in Tara’s final match. Tara said Madison did do a lot for her. Tara had a present for Madison. Tara said it was waiting for her, after the match.
Kurt Angle and others did a promo for Philadelphia. It was all about Bound For Glory. This year, it would come from Philly.
Backstage, Scott Steiner flirted with a redhead. He was taken out by another clown.
Madison Rayne vs Tara
Madison looked like a younger version of Vickie Guerrero. Tara rode out on the motorcycle and brought the present to the ring. Madison didn’t want to wit for her pressie. I’m thinking the return of Poison. Madison wanted Tara to lie down and let her pin her. Tara was almost amused by the request. Madison pushed Tara and the Black Widow uncorked on her with fists and Clotheslines. Scoop Slam into the Standing Moonsault by Tara. Tara slammed Madison’s head into the canvas, over and over. Madison with a Jawbreaker. Madison wanted the Rayne of Terror but Tara reversed it into a Clothesline. Tara with the Spider’s Web Side Slam. Madison blocked the Widow’s Peak and kicked Tara in the face. Madison with an Irish Whip and caught Tara’s boots. Tara with a punch but Madison kicked Tara off the apron. Tara’s face struck the apron. The two girls fought on the floor.
Madison took the box and started to unwrap it. Yep, it was Poison! Tara watched Madison trip out and then nailed the Widow’s Peak!
Your Winner: Tara
Grade: B (84%)
After the match, Tara retrieved her spider and taunted Madison with it. Madison took off at warp speed to avoid the tarantula. Tara chased Madison to he back with the spider. I always wanted one of them. It would have gotten named Fluffy.
Magnus and Williams talked about Rob Terry rejoining them. Williams said it was the perfect time to set their sights on the tag belts.
Kurt Angle walked from the back. Kurt is next in line for a shot at the World title. Kurt was all smiles as he talked about being the top contender. He would face the champ at Hardcore Justice. He was curious who his opponent would be. Kurt would prefer to battle Ken. He has a history with Ken and wanted to get some revenge. Kurt said he wanted to hurt Ken. He then talked about his history with Sting, including the Empty Arena match. Kurt has never beaten Sting and it didn’t set well with Kurt. He wanted a chance to correct that malfunction.
The fiesta was over and Jeff and Karen were on their way back to Mexico with the Immortal World Title belt. When Karen opened the van, a clown popped out and destroyed Jeff. He dragged Double J out of the camera shot.
Hernandez y Anarchia (Mexican America) vs Douglas Williams and Brutus Magnus (British Invasion)
Number One Tag Team Contender Match
The muchachas weren’t with the vatos. I want to send get well wishes out to Sarita. She had some kind of injury that partially paralyzed her face and took her out of the week-end Triplemania show in AAA. Anarchia and Hernandez rambled until the music of the Brits hit.
Magnus and Williams went to town on the Mexicans. Magnus tore into Anarchia in the ring. Williams had taken out Hernandez with a Tope Suicida. Williams tagged in and pounded away. Williams ran over Anarchia but Hernandez hit a knee to the back to stop Williams. Hernandez with the Springboard Shoulder Tackle off the hidden tag. Hernandez with the Standing Backbreaker. He then nailed the Dropping Backbreaker. Anarchia tagged back in and Hernandez sat Williams on the top rope. Anarchia kicked Williams and Hernandez went to the floor to choke the Brit. Hernandez rolled Williams in and Anarchia continued the assault.
Anarchia with a Front Face Lock. Mexican America with a Leapfrog Double Team. Hernandez threatened the Border Toss but Williams blocked t. Hernandez got nailed by the Morningstar Uppercut. Williams was busted open.
Magnus got the tag and went to town on Anarchia, who had also tagged in. Hernandez with the illegal moves. Magnus Clotheslined Hernandez and then hit the Sit-Out Powerslam on Anarchia. The Brits with the Double Team. Magnus with the Savage Elbow for a two. The Brits hit a Flying European Uppercut off the ropes. Hernandez used the distraction of Rosita to crack Magnus in the head. The ref didn’t see anything and the ref made the count.
Your Winners: Mexican America
Grade: B (85%)
Gunner and Bully Ray talked with Eric Bischoff. Bischoff was worried that someone needed to take out Sting. Gunner and Ray wanted to find the clowns before they found them.
Brian Kendrick was thrilled to have earned the X-Division title. Alex Shelley won the number one contendership after Ultimate X. The two will fight in the near future. The two will meet, next week, for the belt.
Taz and Tenay looked at the attacks by the Psycho Clowns.
In the parking lot, the four clowns came out to face Gunner. He was ready to dance. They surrounded Gunner with the baseball bats. The quartet just annihilated the former TV Champ. One of them told Gunner to stay down. It wasn’t Los Payasos. It was…FOURTUNE!
Sting vs Mr. Anderson
Impact/TNA World Heavyweight Title Match
Sting laughed as he walked down to the ring. He used Kaz,, Christopher Daniels, A.J. Styles and James Storm as his back-up all night long. Mr. Anderson was almost on his own for this match. Bully Ray might still be available. Ken called for the Drop Mic but pushed it away, at first. He took it and then changed his mind.
Jeremy Borash did the Buffer-esque introductions. Brian Hebner was the man in charge. Ken showed off his belt as the fans chanted for Sting. Sting staked Ken and moved him to the corner. Ken darted across to avoid being trapped. Ken asked for a Test of Strength but it was a ploy to punch Sting. Sting took the punches and seriously No-Sold them. I kept waiting for Sting to utter “Brains” and take a bite out of Ken. Sting wit Over Hand Clubs. Sting with an Inverted Atomic Drop and Standing Dropkick. Ken bailed out of the ring.
Sting continued to blast Ken after Ken tried to Shoulder from the outside. Stinger Splash by the challenger. Sting got Dropkicked on the second attempt. At a stinger Splash. Ken went to work on Sting’s left leg. Ken dropped his knee onto Sting’s bad knee. Ken then punched at Sting’s painted face. Ken locked in the Scorpion Deathlock/Sharpshooter. Sting made it to the ropes. Ken drove Sting’s knee into the canvas and then dropped his weight on the extended leg, which was on the bottom rope. 1-2-no.
Ken wanted a Single Leg Crab but Sting kicked free. Sting blocked a punch and hit a hard one of his own. Sting was limping as he uncorked rights, lefts, backhands and a Clothesline. . Sting lifted Ken and dropped him onto the ropes. Sting with the Mic Check! 2 count only. Sting was limping badly as he went after Ken. Ken lifted Sting and spun him around, knocking out Hebner. Sting got Ken in the Scorpion Deathlock. Ken tapped out but there was no ref.
Bully Ray hit the ring to attack Sting. Fourtune had missed the former Team 3D member. Ray unhooked the chain from his pants and threatened to whip Sting. Ray told Ken to hold Sting up. Ray wrapped the chain around his fist. The lights went out and a clown was in the ring. It was Kurt Angle, I think. The lights went out, again and the clown was on the ramp. Sting with the Scorpion Deathdrop. 1—-2—-3!
Your Winner (and NEW World Champ): Sting!
Grade: A (96%)
The clown ripped off his mask and YES it was Kurt!
Peace
–Jay Shannon
jade89512@yahoo.com
Category: Wrestling.
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ok, it’s bad enough sting is ripping off heath ledger’s joker make-up from the last batman movie but come on, the clown masks
were almost identical to the ones used in
the movie too. Can’t tna come up with an ORIGINAL idea?
Ok first of all jeff I agree with you 100 percent. 2nd. I posted the same type of reply on the IMPACT wrestlers of the week section of this site, but once again it did not pass moderation. 3. Jay Shannon, I respect you and you, like Bill Apter are the reason that some of these sites even exist. I will always come to this site to get my fix for the latest news but until you guys can get this yahoo problem fixed with whoever runs this site, I will not even attempt to post any more. There is no excuse for this problem and I am not changing my email address just so my comments will show up.
I really really doubt that sting has seen the dark knight. I think he sounds more like ace ventura with face paint, he’s probably thinking he’s just a goofy clown
And one more thing. For anyone else that reads this. This is not a bad reflection on any and I mean any of the journalists here. Jay you are still cool as hell no matter what. I am just irritated that it would seem to me that if there are millions of people with yahoo accounts that comments coming from yahoo accounts get put in a spam folder. So how about letting us register our emails so that this problem doesnt happen.
Shows “rip-off” other shows, movies and even other promotions all the time. Nearly everything is recycled and redone. Remember right after J-Wow showed up in TNA the WWE decided to bring in Snookie. Almost everyone is guilty of doing it.
I thought the show was great. Having the clowns turn out to be Fortune was a surprise, it’s almost like renewing the “They” angle when Kurt and Fortune were going against Immortal before Angle went on his drawn-out feud with Jarrett. Even having Sting mention Dixie, whose name we haven’t heard in months, was unexpected. It opens up some interesting possibilities, like maybe Immortal wondering if Anderson was worth courting, and Anderson wondering if Immortal really did all they could to help him keep the belt. I smell a 3-way dance with Angle, Sting and Anderson coming up. Final thought: seeing the 6 sided ring at the PPV was nice, wonder if we’ll ever see it return.
I thought Thursday was a good show If you don’t like tna don’t watch.
Ok…I will agree and admit that TNA needs to get ORIGINAL ideas. I guess I look at it as a way of them “testing the waters” on certain things that have already been done and seeing if they can add a bit of their own twist to it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But in my opinion, I think Sting has been fitting the “joker outbursts”. They just can’t run it for so long cause then it will get stale.
Jeff, you still suck. Go watch your John Cena dvds and don,t comment on TNA.
Oh relax, Jeff. It was very entertaining. And the clown masks used in the Dark Knight were hardly original designs. Those are about as original as the ghostface mask. In other words, those clown masks were used long before the Dark Knight, so it’s not a rip-off to use ‘em now. Actually, the current Sting is a hybrid between Nicholson’s Joker and Ledger’s Joker. It’s interesting and funny. He cracked me up right from the opening sement when he said (the highly predictable, yes) “wanna’ bet?”
The Fourtune beat down on Gunner reminded me of an old 70′s movie called “The Warriors.”
I read the comments made about tna, did NOT see one time they said they didn’t like tna,
but is saying someone sucks if they have an opinion different than yours a mature way to act? Saying ANYONE can’t comment on tna OR wwe or ANYTHING they want to is ridiculous,
that’s what the comment section is for, everyone else on here stated their feelings about why they liked or didn’t like the angle
and they did it WITHOUT attacking anyone or insulting people. When people give comments,
it’s expected that some won’t agree with everything said and there are sides that say
everything WWE does is right and some that say everything TNA does is right but EVERYONE
has the right to comment without being attacked or insulted, I personally think BOTH
organizations need better storylines and I might not always agree with someone’s opinion of a story or a program but last I checked it WAS STILL america and people should be allowed to state an opinion without being insulted. I may be wrong but when Mr Shannon asked for comments, he didn’t just want comments agreeing that it was the best show ever, did I PERSONALLY like the show? not all of it, but that’s my right but it WAS better than wwe. It’s ok to
disagree with people but there’s no call to
be rude.
Seems like old times are here again as TNA is starting to remind me of WCW get a few of the wrestlers from WCW and it would be almost identical. I still likes the hexagon ring better hey other wise TNA is up and coming unlike Vince and his stooges in WWE when will they learn lol any way give time TNA will gain the popular vote and exell stay tuned same TNA channel same TNA time…Yours Truly David M