THE “SLAMMY RAW” RECAP & REVIEW

Posted December 14th, 2010 by 1Wrestling News Team

The 2010 Slammys

The annual awards show was filled with numerous surprises. There was a special appearance by one of the greatest World Champions in the history of the business. There was the in-ring return of the absolute worst World Champion to ever step into a wrestling ring. Also, John Cena’s fate was determined…would he return to Raw as a grappler or not? Oh, yeah, they gave away awards too.

Before I get into all the action and presentations, I would like to take just a moment to send out special get well wishes to a great wrestler. L’Empereur, who works the West Coast indy scene, recently underwent emergency abdominal surgery. While in recovery, there was a problem with a blood clot and the guy spent nearly 2 weeks in the hospital. According to Big Time Wrestling’s web site, the dynamic young man is looking at up to a year on the sidelines. He is in good spirits but your thoughts and prayers could perk him up even more. In fact, you can send him get-well cards at:

L’Empereur
C/o Big Time Wrestling
3984 Washington Blvd #337
Fremont, Ca 94538

Thanks.

Now, on to all the craziness of this week’s 3-hour Raw. The intro explained the categories and showed highlights of the nominees. They actually made it sound like a real awards show. Raw was live from New Orleans. Jerry Lawler, C.M. Punk and Michael Cole manned the announce desk. Lawler wanted to kick the daylights out of Cole.

Justin Roberts brought out former WCW World Champion (and one of the killers of World Championship Wrestling): David Arquette. Arquette had the nerve to brag about being the World Champion. Oh, I swore I wouldn’t say this…Someone call Dennis Miller. He presented the Shocker of the Year

The nominees:

Miz cashes in his Money in the Bank and wins the WWE title.
Nexus debuts and destroys everything in sight
Paul Bearer turns on Undertaker
Randy Orton retires Chris Jericho with the Punt

The Winners: Debut of Nexus

Wade Barrett walked out alone to accept the award. The crowd was hostile towards the leader of the rogue band of gladiators. Barrett acccepted the award for the entire stable. Barrett took credit for the creation and success of Nexus. Barrett then talked about rehiring Cena. Barrett reminded the crowd that Nexus threatened to boot him from the group unless he rehired Cena. Barrett said he had more shocking moments to come…

Interruption by the Mystery G.M. Punk wanted to read the e-mail but Cole did it. Barrett was placed into a match against The Big Show, to provide another Shocking Moment. Big Show came out and took Barrett’s trophy.

Wade Barrett v Big Show

Show urged Barrett to “bring it”. Wade was hesitant to lock up. Punk and Lawler made fun of Arquette and the fact that he lost Courtney Cox, one of the hottest women in television. Wade almost got counted out before the first move was delivered. When he got back in the ring, Show went to town with Open Hand Slaps to the chest. Wade went to the eyes and then did the Stick and Move strategy. Show shoved Barrett away but Wade punched Show to his knees. Show came back with hard fistg. Show pitched Wade to the outside. Show went out after him and hit a Slap that sounded like a cannon being fired. Wade got in the ring and then bailed out. He grabbed Nexus’ Slammy award and walked off. The ref counted Wade out.

Your Winner (by count-out): The Big Show
Grade: C (73%)

Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd came out to present the Despicable Me Award. Tyson introduced Jackson Andrews. Tyson mocked Kelly, suggesting she barely knew how to pronounce certain words. She then rebounded by making fun of his silly haircut

The Nominees were:

Drew McIntyre forced Teddy Long to follow his orders
Kane buries the Undertaker
Mr.McMahon attacks Bret Hart
C.M. Punk crashes Rey Mysterio’s daughter’s birthday party

The Winner: C.M. Punk

Punk left the announce table and joined them at the podium. Punk finally trimmed up that horrible beard. Punk said he would someday get even with someone who wronged him. Punk was all cryptic about who he meant.

Kofi Kingston bounced to the ring for a Mixed-Promotional tag team match. Daniel Bryan came out with the Bella Twins. On the other side was Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero). His partner was Ted DiBiase, Jr (seconded by Maryse)

Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan v Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase, Jr.

Dolph had Bryan locke din a Side Headlock as Raw returned. Dolph has really impressed me with how well he bounced back from his stint in the Spirit Squad to become an accomplished wrestler. Bryan got to his feet as Punk bragged about winning Slammys, three years in a row. Ted took the tag and stomped away at Bryan. Ted choked Bryan on the middle rope. Bryan kicked out of pin attempts. Snap Mare by Ted and tag to Dolph. Dolph with a Mr. Perfect Neckbreaker. Ted tagged back in and punched away at Bryan. Ted with a Rear Chin Lock. The women cheered their respective men. Bryan Elbowed free. Both men came off the ropes and hit Crossbodies on each other.

Kofi got the tag, as did Dolph. Kofi with a huge Dropkick. Kofi then hit the Boom Drop. Kofi called for Trouble in Paradise, which he hit. Ted tried to make the save but he was just a step too slow.

Your Winners: Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan
Grade: B+ (87%)

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov came out to present the next award. Lawler got another shot in on David Arquette. It was time for the Guest Star Shining Moment:

The Nominees:

Mike Tyson knocks out Chris Jericho
Pee Wee Herman v Miz
Wayne Brady gets R-K-O’d
William Shatner “sings” the entrance themes (badly)

The Winner: Pee Wee Herman

PeeWee was live via satellite from New York City. PeeWee thanked himself, Miz, Big Peewee (Big Show) and the Fans. He pushed his Broadway show. Whatever.

Backstage, Nexus confronted Wade Barrett. David Otunga demanded to know what Wade’s decision would be. Otunga threatened Wade, if he didn’t make the right choice. Wade thanked Otunga for “opening his eyes”.

Mark Henry v Cody Rhodes

Cody begged off as the bell rang. Cody said that Mark couldn’t hit his face. Mark mussed up Cody’s hair. Cody with a Side Headlock. Mark with a Clothesline. Mark then rubbed his hand in Cody’s face. Cody with a Drop Toe Hold to send Mark itnot he corner. Cody stomped at Mark and slapped on a Rear Chin Lock. Cody leaned into Mark to keep him on his backside. Mark worked up to his feet and shoved Codydown. Clotheslines by Mark. Irish Whip into a Corner Back Splash. Mark then missed the Corner Splash. Beautiful Dissaster Kick by Cody. Cody with a Kneedrops off the ropes to take the win.

Your Winner: Cody Rhodes
Grade: B (84%)

It was time for the “Holy %&$# Move of the Year” award. Jerry Lawler and Vickie Guerrero presented the award. Vickie looked cute in a black and white dress. The two took shots at each other. Funniest moments of the night, so far.

The Nominees were:

John Morrison’s dive off the scaffolding
Kofi Kingston Boom Drop off a ladder
John Cena’ s AA of Batista through the entrance ramp
Randy Orton’s R-K-O of Evan Bourne, while Bourne was in the middle of his Shooting Star Press (I certainly yelled out Oh, Holy &%&# when Orton hit that)

The Winner: John Cena (So wrong)

Cena didn’t come out because he was fired. Wade Barrett crashed the presentation and took the award. Wade said if Cena wanted the award, he could come get it. Wade got in the ring to tell his decision on the fate of Cena’s career. Wade dragged out his decision. Wade wouldn’t say what his choice was…until Cena joined him in the ring.

Cena came through the crowd to a huge explosion from the Nawlins crowd. Wade wasn’t happy with the crowd’s reaction. Wade warned Cena not to touch him…or else. Wade said he thought this through before making his decision. All the rest of Nexus walked down to the ringside area. They did the typical Nexus Surround. Wade officially rehired Cena as the crowd exploded. There were two conditions: 1. Cena would face Wade at TLC in a Chair Match and 2. Cena fights David Otunga on Raw, tonight. Otunga was not the happiest of campers at that news. Wade hopped out of the ring and sent Nexus to attack Cena. Cena tried to battle but the numbers were far too massive for Cena to deal with. Wade came back into the ring with a steel chair. Wade then took out his vengeance on the former champ with repeated blasts with the steel chair.

After a recap of the events, so far, David Arquette returned in a bad Elvis Jumpsuit kinda thing. Arquette talked about his theater in Hollywood (like anyone cared). Arquette present Fan Reaction of the Year award.

The Nominees:

Weird Kid reacts to John Cena joining Nexus
Older lady cries when Shawn Michaels retired
Black guy all excited
The Miz Girl pouting about Miz’s WWE win

The Winner: Miz Girl (Kailey) The award was accepted by the Miz Girl. She started to do an acceptance speech when Miz and Alex Riley showed up. Miz talked down to the little kid. Miz wanted to see the girl’s Slammy award. Miz said he would take the award for safe keeping. It was apparently Kailey’s birthday. The girl gave Miz a serious “Go to Hell” look and walked off. Miz then strolled down to the ring with Riley and Arquette. Miz bragged about what he did in his career. Miz said that the Slammys were held too soon because Miz had a special Moment of the Year for Randy Orton at TLC.

The Mystery G.M. interrupted Miz’s rant (thanks, G.M.). The G.M. decided to put Miz and Randy Ortono in the ring against former World Champions. Miz got to face…Rey Mysterio!

The Miz v Rey Mysterio

Miz kicked and punched away at Rey. Irish Whip by Miz but Rey sent Miz to the floor with a Hurancanrana. Rey with a Seated Senton on Miz, driving him to the arena floor. Raw went to break.

Miz had Rey in a Surfboard but a Mule Kick set Rey free. Rey with a Tilt-a-Whirl headscissors. Rey wanted the Wheelbarrow Bulldog but Miz nlocked it. Rey Dropkicked Miz into the ropes. Suddenly, Alberto Del Rio showed up. Miz went to the floor. Rey went out after him. Miz with a Reverse Powerbomb to send Rey into the ring apron. Miz rolled Rey back into the ring and tried to pin Rey. He only got a two. Miz punched Rey hard and set him on the top rope. Rey fought back and hit a Seated Senton and Flying Crossbody. Rey hurt his ribs on the landing. Rey tried for a Roll-up but Rey rolled through. Drop Toe Hold by Rey. Alberto distracted Rey but accidentally got blasted by Miz. Rey went for another 6.1.9 but Alberto tripped Rey. Miz with a quick Roll-up to take the win. Miz chased Alberto to the back.

Your Winner: The Miz
Grade: B+ (88%)

Miz, Riley and Arquette were partying in the ring when the G.M. sent through another e-mail. Randy Orton’s opponents in a Handicap Match would be Alex Riley and former WCW World Champion, David Arquette. David started to celebrate the news. Lawler was dead-on when he said “He’s a bigger idiot than I thought”. I couldn’t agree more.

Raw showed off Bourbon Street. I so remember that from my MUCH younger days. The next presenter for the “Oh, Snap…Meltdown of the Year” award was Edge. Edge brought out someone that he had been very close with, over the years. It sounded like he was bringing Vickie or Lita out, but it was Christian! Edge asked Christian how the recovery was going. Christian said it was going well. Christian hoped Alberto Del Rio (the man that took him out) wins.

The Nominees:

Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s awards
Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm
Edge has a problem with the Mystery G.M. and his computer
Batista throws a fit and quits wrestling

The Winner: Edge

Edge started to have another Meltdown. Christian set off his ringtone, which is the G.M. tone. Christan pretended that he got a text/e-mail from the G.M. It was a joke. Christian told Edge to calm down. Edge thanked Christian for breaking the tension. Edge said one thing hasn’t changed over the years…and I quote “Michael Cole is still a massive tool”. Yeppers.

Sheamus came out in his Hunter Green and gold royal robe. Cole turned over the announcing duties to Punk and Lawler. John Morrison then arrived to do battle

Sheamus v John Morrison

The two locked up and moved to the corner. Sheamus slapped Morrison and kicked away. Morrison jumped Sheamus as the ref tried to pull them apart. It broke down into complete chaos and the ref couldn’t control it. He called for the bell.

Your Winner: Double Disqualification
Grade: D (65%)

The crowd chanted “Let the fight!” The G.M. sent another message. The winner of the Sheamus/Morrison match on Sunday would become the new number one contender to the WWE title. They will fight in a Ladder Match (It will be interesting, for me, to compare that match to one of the best Ladder Matches that I’ve ever seen: Dustin Ardine v Vinny Poochanelli). Sheamus and Morrison started fighting again. Sheamus hithte floor and complained about the concept of a Ladder Match. Sheamus grabbed the ladder and used it to blast Morrison in the ribs. Sheamus was on the outside, while Morrison was in the ring. Sheamus then got back in the ring and stood over the hurt Morrison. Sheamus lifted Morrison into a Fireman’s Carry and then launched Morrison, over the ropes, and onto the ladder. Wow!

Post-match Grade: A (94%)

JTG and William Regal presented the Knucklehead Moment of the Year.

The Nominees:

C.M. Punk unmasked by Big Show
Mae Young beats Lay-Cool (my daughters loved that match)
Beth Phoenix eliminated Great Khali in the Royal Rumble…with a kiss
Vladimir Kozlov beats Santino in a Dance Off

The Winner: Mae Young beats Lay-Cool (even though JTG screwed up and said it backwards, giving the win to Lay-Cool)

Michelle McCool and Layla came out to accept the “Flawless” Award. After boring everyone to tears with their ramblings, Lay-Cool headed to the ring to participate in the Battle Royal to determine the Diva of the Year.

Diva Battle Royal
The winner will be Diva of the Year

Llay-Cool waited for the other women to arrive. Tamina, The Bellas, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Eve Torres, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Rosa Mendes and Kaitlyn hit the ring. The fight was on! Everyone went after Lay0Cool. Kaitlyn and Rosa were gone in mere seconds. The Bellas pitched out Tamina. Nikki and Eve Torres were tossed. Lay-Cool flipped Brie Bella onto the apron and then kicked her off the apron. Nattie sent Maryse to the floor. Kelly tried to Head Scissors Michelle out but Layla aided her friend in sending Kelly to the floor. Melina and Beth attacked Fox. Melina then attacked Beth. Beth Glam Slammed Melina over the ropes and out of the match. Lay-Cool attacked Beth. Nattie with a Discus Forearm on Michelle. Layla begged off Beth, who kicked Layla out to the floor. Layla reached through and grabbed Beth. That allowed McCool to send Beth to the floor. At the same time, Nattie tossed out both Gail Kim and Alicia Fox. As Natalya turned back around, Michelle McCool booted her in the ribs. Nattie fell backwards out of the ring.

Your Winner (And Diva of the Year): Michelle McCool

Lay-Cool celebrated their victory, until the G.M. sent another e-mail. Yep, it was he/she again. The G.M. put Lay-Cool against Natalya and Beth Phoenix in the first ever, women’s tag team…Tables Match! McCool and Layla looked near panic at the thought of that. Beth caressed a table to taunt the former co-champions.

The WWE Rewind showcased the Kane/Edge issue. Edge tricked Kane into shoving Paul Bearer off a platform and down to his possible “death”. Edge then arrived to fight Jack Swagger. No eagle, this week.

Edge v Jack Swagger

It was announced that Jack Swagger would be in a Triple Threat Ladder Match for the Intercontinental title against Kofi Kingston and current champ, Dolph Ziggler.

The two men stalked each other before locking up. Jack with a Kneelift and amateur lift/throw. Jack with knees to Edge’s ribs and back. Jack choked Edge and ran the Rated R Superstar to the corner. Power Whip by Swagger. Edge fought back with hard punches. Jack with a surprise Gut Buster. Jack stomped away at Edge. Jack with a Keylock/Bicep Cutter. Edge punched his way free. Jack with a Big Boot. Jack taunted the crowd.

Jack with a Scoop into a run. Edge slipped free and hit the Edge Drop. Flying Fore-arm and Flying Bulldog by Edge. Jack with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Jack went for the Outer Limits Splash but Edge got the knees up. That backfired on Edge, as Jack slapped on the Ankle Lock. Edge twisted into the move to get free. Jack went for the Gut Wrench Powerbomb but Edge countered it into the Impaler DDT. Edge got his “Crazy Eyes” and nailed the Spear!

Your Winner: Edge
Grade: A- (92%)

Backstage, Miz and Riley talked. Riley couldn’t believe Arquette wanted to wrestle. Arquette came in, looking even more like an idiot in his patriotic robe. Riley said Arquette was delusional. Miz wasn’t worried. He wanted to put Orton through a table. Oh, please, somebody put Arquette through a table (or 12) as revenge for being part of the death of WCW (Can you tell I really don’t like that 4th rate actor? This is the genius that named his little girl, Coco. Good thing they didn’t have any more children, otherwise Coco would have had Marshmallow as a sibling. Jeez)

Next week, wrestling will be on USA on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Monday brings Raw, as normal. Tuesday will have a special live edition of Smackdown and Wednesday will rebroadcast Tribute to the Troops.

Michael Cole congratulated Amin Okaa, who won THQ’s Moment of the Year Video Game Contest. He created a character that looked like Umaga and Tomko had a child.

Big Show came out to present WWE Moment of the Year.

The Nominees:

John Cena gets fired by Wade Barrett.
Sheamus attacks Triple H as HHH says good-bye to Shawn Michaels.
Edge with a Super-Sized Spear on Chris Jericho
Career v Streak Match at Wrestlemania

The Winner (obviously): Shawn Michaels v Undertaker, Shawn’s career comes to an end

Shawn sent a video message to the fans. The crowd exploded at the sight of Shawn. Shawn said there was a request for him to come back. Shawn thanked everyone for making his life wonderful. Shawn said he was prod to be in some many memorable moments. Shawn didn’t miss the wrestling but he did miss the fans. Shawn hinted that he might show up, down the road. (Hall of Fame ceremony?)

Randy Orton v Alex Riley and David Arquette
Handicap Match (Riley being handicapped with Arquette as a partner)

Orton looked amused at the site of Arquette and Riley. Riley started the match against Orton. Kneelift and punches from Orton. European Uppecuts by Orton. Orton with a Clothesline out of the corner. Another European Uppercut on Riley. Orton stared evilly at Arquette. The crowd was deafening with their “R-K-O” hant. Arquestte tookt he tag and jumped Orton. Orton with a kick to the ribs and went into Viper Mode. Arquette scooted to the corner for a tag. Twisted Sister Backbreaker by Orton. Orton stomped Riley but missed a Kneedrop. Riley with a Suplex. Orton pounded away as Arquette tried to choke Orton. Orton fought out of the corner but took a boot. He returned with a pair of Clotheslines and a Snap Powerslam. Orton with a Fireman’s Carry Suplex. R-K-O!

Your Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: B (84%)

Miz attacked Orton, after the match, by Miz and the Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz set up a chair in the ring. Miz and Arquette wanted a Double Suplex but Orton blocked it. Orton went to Powerbomb Miz but Arquette attacked Orton. Orton knocked Miz out of the ring. IN the greatest move in wrestling history…EVER…Orton Powerbombed that useless little weasel, David Arquette, through the table. Finally, Sting, Ric Flair, Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes and dozens of others got their revenge for the darkest mark on any championship.

Post-match Grade: A+ (110%)

John Cena did a Public Service Announcement for Make a Wish Foundation. You can go to WWE.com/JohnCenaWish for more information. Anything that helps the kids works for me.

The announce team ran down the updated TLC match. I have the day off and plan on catching this brutal PPV.

It was time for the next Slammy. Michael Cole came out to almost as large a boo as David Arquette. It was time foe the “And I Quote, Line of the Year”

Santino makes fun of Sheamus’ pale skin
Miz tells Bret Hart that he (Miz) won his first Wrestlemania match, only 17 to go to catch the Undertaker
Triple H tells C.M. Punk that Punk looked like he had been on a week-long crack binge with Amy Winehouse
John Cena called Heath Slater the chick from Wendy’s
Edge wants to know why he is arguing with a computer
Cody Rhodes doesn’t want his brother, Goldust, to breathe on him and Dusty feels he raised some weird kids (as Dusty is wearing a Goldust wig).
Kane screamed for his father.
Batista complained about duct tape
Mr. McMahon screamed that Bret deserved to be screwed
Stephanie McMahon thanked God that Vince was still in a coma
Cole did his e-mail schtick
Michael Tarver botched his Be a Winner speech
Eli Cottonwood stumbled through a mustache speech.
Eve Torres tore into Miz about what a loser he was
Mike Tyson threatened to destroy Hornswoggle
Randy Orton said he would R-K-O his own grandmother and then Sheamus’
Edge chanted “Spear” a gazillion times
Jack Swagger wondered if anyone knew how tough it was to get an Eagle medical insurance
C.M.Punk complained aboutg John Cena spilling his diet soda
Mae Young wanted a fight with those two B*tches
Michael Cole botched his “I got an e-mail” speech
Triple H: “You can’t write this stuff”
Ron Simmons: Damn!

Your Winner: Michael Cole

Cole tried to do an acceptance speech but they ran the music to cut him off. Thank goodness for small favors.

Teddy Long came out to announce the WWE Superstar of the Year. Michael Cole whined about having his speech cut off. Lawler told Cole to shut up.

The Nominees:

Edge
The Miz
Kane
John Cena
Rey Mysterio
And
Randy Orton

The Winner: John Cena

Cena came out to accept his award. Cena hugged Long and then stepped up to the microphone. Cena thanked the fans for not giving up on him. Cena said it had been a crazy year for him. Cena said he pee’d in Barrett’s coffee while being a member of the Nexus. Cena then talked about partying in Nawlins. Cena said he lived the magic on Bourbon Street. Cena said all the bad things in his career were his own fault. Cena said he had another promise for the wwE Universe. He had two members of Nexus to get to, David Otunga and Wade Barrett. Cena was planning on hurting Otunga, tonight, and taking out all his frustrations and anger on Barrett as TLC. Cena promised to destroy Wade Barrett on Sunday.

John Cena v David Otunga

Nexus walked out in unison for the main event. Wade showed the footage of the earlier beat-downof Cena, after Wade rehired Cena. Otunga got support from all of Nexus, except Barrett. Wade sent all the members to the back before the match started.

Cena with a hard Clothesline to open the match. Cena shoved Otunga in the corner and hit a vicious Knife Edge Chop to the chest, then the back. Arm Wringer into a Kneelift bu Cena. Gut Wrench Suplex byCnea. Cena with a Clothesline off the Irish Whip. Cena threw Otunga into the corner. Cena missed a Corner Run after an Irish Whip.

Otunga pounded on Cena and sent him to the ropes. Otunga with a Pounce-like Running Back Elbow on Cena. Cena battled back with a Drop Toe Hole. Cena slappe don the STF and cranked back. Otunga tapped out.

Your Winner: John Cena
Grade: B (84%)

After the match, Cena went out and got a chair. Cena brutalized Otunga with the chair. Otunga begged for help from Barrett, but Wade just stayed at the top of the ramp. Cena continued to waffle Otunga with the steel chair. Cena noticed that Barrett wouldn’t help. Cena told B arrett that the final shots were for Barrett. Barrett smiled as Cena beat Otunga out of the ring with the chair. Barrett brandished his own chair to mock Cena.

I’ll be back with you all tomorrow with my own Year-End Awards in this week’s Ringside Remembrances column. Until then…

Peace

–Jay Shannon
Jade89512@yahoo.com

Category: Wrestling.

Tags: .

Add Your Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*